Think about every guy/girl that has ever got close to you on a purely platonic basis. I don't mean having a chat at a friends braai, or spending time with your partner and his/her friends of the opposite sex, I mean long bouts of quality time on an interpersonal level (between only two people). I can tell you now that in most cases one of you has feelings for the other, or you hooked up in the past and decided to remain friends, or it is extremely complicated and neither party knows how they feel. If I'm wrong here, then you are definitely the minority because it is extremely rare.
I have heard from guys themselves that there is always an intention or ulterior motive when it comes to getting close and spending lots of time with a specific girl 'friend'. Men don't make friends with women by choice, they either want to be sexually or romantically involved with you, or they are simply an acquaintance-there is no grey area. When I say acquaintance, I'm referring to someone of the opposite sex that you see occasionally in a social setting or by chance (and get along with), but don't hang out with alone or talk to everyday.
I'm not just talking about men here, woman are just as guilty of this, and in so many ways friendship is confused with romance and mixed signals. When it is explored biologically, it is more simple than you think. Us humans are made to mate with each other and create new life- as raw as that may sound, its true. There are women that prefer male company to female company, but the males you are friends with consider you one of the guys. Isn't that telling you something? If they were to associate you with having feminine qualities, they couldn't just be your friend.
Romantic comedies are cliche for a reason- because they are exaggerated illustrations of what everyone can relate to. The guy and the girl don't just sit and watch movies together and then go home. There is built up tension and confusion from the beginning between the two characters in question, until something inevitably happens. Whether it works out and becomes a functional relationship or not, one person will eventually attempt to break out of the 'friend-zone'.
Lets talk about that deep dark pit of loneliness and frustration that nobody likes to be in: the friend-zone. More poetically depicted in Shakespeare's plays as unrequited love, it is the simple equation of person 1 thinking they are just friends and person 2 desperately wanting to date them. The urban dictionary defines this disastrous situation perfectly, "What you attain after you fail to impress a woman [or man] you're attracted to. Usually initiated by them saying, "You're such a good friend". Usually associated with long days of suffering and watching your love interest hop from one bad relationship to another."
"I spent all that money on a date, just to find out she put me in the Friend Zone (said with eerie echo)." (www.urbandictionary.com)
My further argument is that if male and female friends enjoy each others company that much, why don't they just date? When you think about it the only thing they are not doing is hooking up. Female friends are there to hear us nag and whine, go shopping with, gossip with and watch trashy reality tv. What do we need a male bestie for, if not to have a boyfriend or an acquaintance? If he is gay it is a different story altogether, he has all the awesome qualities a female friend would have, but he is not remotely interested in getting in your pants. |
In the workplace it is a completely different ball game because you work with men and women on a professional level (well one can only assume). Business and personal is not crossed in any way, and working together with the opposite sex on a project is a far cry from enjoying a meal together and discussing your hopes and dreams. Therefore, Harry simply doesn't have it within himself to be best friends with Sally. We all know how that ends. x
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