Being a girl is perplexing to guys, much like how us females percieve the rules of rugby for example. You don't have to completely understand our seemingly strange ways, but at the end of the day the final product of all our grooming is something that every guy should appreciate instead of complain about. This is why one hour in girl time should be the equivalent of 15 minutes in guy time:
Having a shower
When a guy has a shower... he puts the shower on, gets in and washes himself, and sometimes gets some shampoo action in his hair too (conditioner after that if he's feeling extra special). Dries himself, looks in the mirror and flexes once or twice. Maybe draws something in the mist of the mirror. Exits the bathroom.
When a girl has a shower (or a bath depending on time constraints)... she opens her bathroom cabinet and carefully selects everything she will need for said bath or shower that is about to take place. Face wash, body wash, sponge, shampoo and conditioner, exfoliater (there are usually multiple types and brands of each of these which she will usually alternate). She then gets in the bath/shower and makes sure that every part of her body is scrubbed, then washes her hair which takes longer than any guy washing his hair because we simply have more of it. Some conditioners require her leaving it in for a few minutes. She then gets out and dries herself, and her hair which sometimes requires another smaller towel. Then the process of lotion application takes place. Ever wonder why a girls skin feels so soft? We cover every inch of ourselves in body lotion to the point where we could slide accross the floor like a slug. After placing all our beauty product artiliary back in the cabinet, only then do we exit the bathroom.
 |
When a guy needs to remove hair... its usually only on his face (if he has a beard this step is skipped completely). He stands infront of a basin, shaves his face with a razor and some shaving foam, then wipes or washes it all off. If you are one of those big cage fighting/club bouncer type guys then your arms and legs (and underarms ewwww) are added to the equation for no explainable reason whatsoever. Sportsmen, you may be excused for this .
When a girl needs to remove hair... this could either take place at home or at her chosen beauty salon. She either waxes, shaves or uses hair removal cream for any possible hair on her body other than the top of her head. Facial hair removal is another chapter in itself. Ever tried to use tweezers to pluck a hair from your face? Try doing that every week or so for the rest of your life #nomonobrow. Waxing is painful but happens less often, shaving is more convenient but hair grows back faster. If she considers herself to have the bank balance of a Kardashian she gets her hair removed via laser, which I have been told feels like a hundred rubber bands flicking you every second. If that is'nt enough, try doubling the entire process in summer when we have to be in a bikini on the beach.
 |
When a guy gets dressed... he has one big decision to make: should I wear short pants or long pants? Other than that he chooses a t-shirt or button up shirt that is clean (insert sniff test), a jacket if its cold and puts on one of his four or five pairs of shoes depending on the occasion.
When a girl gets dressed... she first has to figure out the weather for the day, and the activities she will be doing. Most women are situational dressers, which means if she is going to tea for example, she wears a dress or pastels. She not only has to decide between combinations of jeans, shorts, corporate wear, jackets, skirts, dresses, smart pants and so forth, she also has to add accessories to her outfit such as scarves, jewelry, belts and handbags. On top of this, every item somehow has to be both matching in some way and fashionable for the season. She knows instinctually that harem pants and mullet dresses are not cool anymore, and under no circumstances does green go with yellow. Just no. Forget repeating an outfit more than three times, people will notice (especially if there is photographic evidence). I havnt even gone into evening wear and beach attire. Its complicated!
 |
When a guy does his hair... he usually has a go-to style that he has perfected, and a little bit of water or styling gel does the trick. I am yet to meet a guy who spends more than 5 minutes styling his hair. At this point in the game, the guy has completed his getting ready session and he's waiting at the door for the girl to finish up. This is where he learns the art of patience and understanding.
When a girl does her hair...it is probably THE most stressful part of getting ready. Her hair may decide to be dry, thin, frizzy or just completely unmangeable, and she will spend the next 10 to 20 minutes trying to flatten, straighten, curl or tie it up. This could make or break her day and change her mood instantly. When it comes to girls and their hair, styling products are plentiful and every hair type is unique. If we decide to dye our hair or cut it shorter, its like putting all our trust into some strangers hands hoping they don't stuff up and make you cry (yes, I have cried after a hair cut)
 |
When a guy puts on make-up... he is either a drag queen or going the extra mile for a themed party or Haloween. NEXT.
When a girl puts on make-up... its a transformation to say the least. She has freckles? Well not anymore. Dark bags under her eyes? That's gone too. This is where us girls have the world on our side. She has lots of tiny little bottles of magic and brushes to hide whatever she doesn't want anyone to see, and enhances everything else. All of a sudden she has big smokey eyes, red lips and long eyelashes. Behind this process is a lot of practice, youtube tutorials, make-up classes and assistant from mom. I dare any guy to use liquid eyeliner to form a perfect winged line just behind your eyelashes.
 |
This varies from one day to the next in terms of overall maintenance. It could be adding instant self-tanner to pale legs, fixing up nails with some nailpolish, packing our handbags to make sure we have everything we need for touch-ups or emergencies at any point, strategically spraying perfume on ourselves.
Now that all you guys out there understand the lengthy process we go through to look effortlessly put together, hopefully there will be less complaints and arguments and more 'you look beautiful'. After all, we do all this for you! And yes, we do love taking part in all of the above, that's what makes us girls. x
No comments :
Post a Comment