On Valentines Day, February the 14th 2012, I was hijacked. I thought long and hard before writing this blog post because it was a very painful experience for me. Only a few friends and family up until this point know what happened that night, but I thought this would be an opportunity to advise others, especially young girls such as myself, in a positive and helpful way.
When it happened over two years ago, I was a somewhat ignorant individual who knew about crime but was never directly affected by it. Before I was hijacked my life was free from fear of any kind. In fact I didn't exactly know what pure fear was.
It was Valentines Day and my single friends and I planned to go to a party that evening. I was designated driver for the night because I was not drinking at the time, so I drove to the apartment my friends were staying at to pick them up. I had only been living in Durban for a month, and I was still learning my way around. What I didn't know was that the apartment I was about to drive to was in an area that had been riddled with crime over the last few months, with dimly lit streets and insufficient general security.
I parked on the side of the road outside their apartment in my car on an uncomfortably warm February evening. There was no space in the complex to park unless you were a resident, and my friends didn't respond to my phone calls or hooting as a signal to come outside (I assumed they had music playing and couldn't hear). So I got out my car, locked the doors and walked up to the gate a few metres away.
What happened in the next few seconds felt like forever. Two men approached me, my hand was bitten to release my car key, and a gun was pointed at my chest. Being hijacked is something that happens to people in South Africa every day, but this time it was happening to me and I wasn't even in my car. I want to offer my own personal advice to avoid or handle situations such as these.
Always be aware
Know what area you are driving in at all times, and if it is unfamiliar to you then try to drive cautiously and be aware of your surroundings. If you are driving at night, avoid going anywhere alone. Criminals prefer to prey on those that are by themselves. Always lock your doors, and if at any point someone attempts to attack you, bring as much attention to yourself as possible (whether its screaming, hooting or shouting loudly).
Know your instincts
When an individual faces any kind of fear they either instinctively choose a fight or flight mechanism. This is different for each person, and you will learn this about yourself if you are in a dangerous situation. Try thinking of how you react when someone gives you a fright, or how you handle confrontation in general. I am instinctively a fighter, which could be to my own detriment because I could possibly exacerbate a dangerous situation, but now that I know this about myself I can attempt to control it.
Learn self-defence
Obviously if your attacker has a gun or a knife, self-defence is not really an option, but in situations where someone is unarmed but aggressive or violent towards you, knowing a few basic self-defence moves can only be beneficial. I went on a self-defence course a few years ago and they even advise you on the safest way to react in any given situation.
Don't be afraid to seek professional help
For a few weeks after I was hijacked I hardly slept and had lost my appetite completely. I stayed at home in that time and didn't want to see anybody. My parents finally suggested that I see a psychologist. I am so grateful that I went because it helped me through what happened and allowed me to move on with my life. I was taught to see the incident as a life lesson that has made me grow as a person and become more aware and empathetic.
After the incident, I had overwhelming support from friends and family who had heard what had happened, and it made it that much easier to deal with. I now see that day as a true understanding of how precious life is, and how easily it can be taken away. x
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