Being the right girl

Women constantly complain about not being able to meet the right guy. Have you ever considered that you're not the right girl? Its harsh I know, but in many situations we have to consider this as the solution to the problem by looking at ourselves first.
If you struggle to get men to committ to you, or have a string of meaningless relationship, this repeated pattern is a pretty good indication that maybe you're doing something wrong. I know this from experience, because a few years a go I was the wrong girl and it has taken a lot of introspection and self-discovery to try and become the right girl. I'm no expert, but if you follow these pretty simple steps I think that you could make a change for your personal benefit.

The lists
We all have those lists of ridiculous requirements and expectations of what we want our future boyfriend to be, and some lists are longer than others. They may include: wealthy, successful, good-looking, tall, funny, intelligent and so forth. Realistic? I think not. By writing out these futile lists in your mind (or on paper), you are creating a mental block for any guy you meet. Even if he doesnt tick all your boxes but you show interest, that dissatisfaction that he isnt the guy you expect him to be will come out in numerous unhealthy ways. For example, as a young woman you can't expect to meet a guy who is financially stable and successful when you are neither of those things. Even if you were, what you're telling yourself is that superficial things like money and success is more important than love and trust. Do yourself a favour and throw away your lists of requirements and expectations. It will open your mind to all the possibilities you have subconsciously avoided, and you might meet a guy who is none of the things on your list, but he's actually perfect for you.

Past relationships
One huge mistake girls make is letting past relationships effect what they think about all future relationships. Its the equivalent of thinking you can never eat apple's again cause you bit into a bad one. Past relationships teach us lessons and allow us to undestand what went wrong and what we can improve on. No relationship is perfect but if your previous one ended in a bad way then attempt to make sure the same thing doesn't happen again. Don't let whatever your ex did wrong effect the possibility of a current or future relationship. Holding onto grudges and having that 'every guy is the same' attitude will get you nowhere.

The party girl
There is a reason why girls stop frequenting clubs and parties as much as they used to , and its not because they have become boring or anti-social. Most young single people have a phase where they go to clubs to get drunk and meet other young drunk single people (this is a huge generalisation according to my personal experience but lets all be honest here). The problem with the above scenario is that you will never find a relationship this way, and if you do then consider yourself the exception to the rule. If you go to clubs in the hopes of meeting the right guy, you're going to be the right girl for one night, thats all. When people go to a club or a party, there is this carefree mindset that takes over and inhibitions are weakened with the assistance of alcohol. I wouldn't exactly call it the perfect opportunity to have a conversation, let alone getting to know one another.There is nothing wrong with being a party girl, but if you want a serious relationship rather wait until this phase of your life is over.

On the hunt
No guy likes a desperate girl, its just not attractive. You have to figure out why you think you need a boyfriend. Is it boredom or loneliness? Are you trying to fill something that is missing in another part of your life? You will only meet the right guy when you are happy with being single and in your own company. You should maintain a balanced life of friends, family, work and free time, and everything else will fall into place. If you are constantly searching for a boyfriend you will probably be interested in any guy that looks at you twice. Rather just be yourself, meet new people and have fun. The right guy will come along when you are ready for him, and when you least expect it (corny but true).

Love yourself
How can you expect anyone to love you if you cant love yourself? You have to train your mind and body to appreciate who you are and what you can do. When you are in a committed relationship, the other person is going to eventually know everything there is to know about you, flaws and all. There will always be things about yourself that you arn't crazy about, just as long as you accept it instead of hiding it. You fall in love when you are most vulnerable, because exposing your soul to the person you love means that your trust is in their hands. You have to be able to let go of your insecurities and self-hate to fall in love. x