I bet the majority of females reading this got a bit wound up by the title. Yes I said it! I'm included in this explanation so I have only myself to offend. Women are bitches, and if you think your'e not, you need to accept that you are, and that's ok. Yes, guys can be assholes, but this isnt the focus right now.
We have been told countless times that men are simple, and it is true (unless your'e one of those guys with emotional problems, there is always an exception). If they are hungry then they eat, if they are upset then they tell you why. The best explanation I have ever been given is that men's minds are like a waffle, and womens minds are like a bowl of spagetti (whoever came up with this I apologize for not remebering the source).
Let me explain. Men compartmentalize their feelings and thoughts depending on how important it is, and place each thought and feeling in separate sections, like those of a waffle. These sections could range from money to religion to relationships depending on the individual. For example, when a guy is watching a very important sports game, and you come in asking what he thinks about your dress, he will give you a vague answer. This isn't him being rude, the sport is simply more important to him than the outfit you spent the last hour putting together. If you walk in and instead you're in your underwear with a plate of hamburgers, consider him very much interested. Thats it, you're welcome.
Women, on the other hand, have minds like a bowl of spaghetti: complex and intertwined. Our feelings, thoughts and emotions are mixed up, with one piece connecting to another, and different compartments of our lives overlapping . Can anyone blame us for being bitches? We arn't bitches all the time, just sometimes (or at least once a day). Here is why...
1. Mind-reading:
We know that we are not easy to please, even though we pretend we are. Some of us are open about what we require from friends, family and relationships, the rest of us just assume that everyone should know. The perfect example is a scenario every single person can relate to. You are upset about something, someone asks you what's wrong, you say 'nothing'. If it's a woman asking she might ask again or try find out what is wrong (because bitches understand other bitches). If it's a guy he will just assume that when you said nothing, it either really is nothing or you just don't want to alk about it. It is at this point that the small problem that you were upset about becomes a big problem because he hasn't followed through with the minimum requirement of asking three times before we answer dramatically. On behalf of all bitches, I genuinely can't explain why.
2. Insecurity:
Every woman in the world is insecure. Yes I'm talking to you Miranda Kerr and Angelina Jolie! No matter how confident we come accross, there is something about us or on us that we are insecure about. As soon as a woman walks into a room, the first thing she notices isnt the decor or the other men in the room, she notices the other women. How are they dressed compare to me? Where do I know her from? Why didn't I wear heels? At this moment thousands of thoughts are being tossed around in our heads like a washing machine. Take that moment and times it by a billion when we are on the beach. More to show equals more to be insecure about. If a woman makes a bitchy comment to another woman in a subtle way, its usually based on an insecurity of some kind. Those damn insecurities will always be there, making us bitchy, and it possibly gets worse as we get older.
3. Caring
We want men to care about things as much as we do. Women care about a variation of random and relatively unimportant things. We care about home decor, gardening, food presentation, fashion, our weight and many many other things. We can't undertstand why men don't know that a pool table can't go in the dining room because it throws off the aesthetics (#thebreakup), or why the combination of black and brown almost never goes together. That is when our inner bitch comes out when you least expect it. Why don't you care as much about that lady in Poland who breeds over 30 different kinds of teacup pigs in her home? Um, I dont know, because it doesn't matter, and it kind of freaks me out.
4. Expectations
We have specific expectations for every person in our lives because we have expectations for ourselves. When these expectations aren't reached, the bitch-monster comes out. These daily expectations could be your roommate buying all the things on your list from the supermarket because you are busy, or your partner planning a romantic dinner for your anniversary. They almost always fall short of our expectations because we think we can do it better. Ever heard the expression 'if something can't be done right do it yourself''? I bet a women came up with that one.
5. Responsibilities
Even though I'm not married, nor do I have children, I'm speaking on behalf of all the mothers and wives out there. The average woman has a huge amount of responsibilities including washing, cleaning, ironing, fetching and carrying, packing lunches and school bags, cooking, working, diy, home decor, the list goes on. Most of these daily activities go unnoticed as they are considered the norm in a household. Next time your mom or wife goes off at you for leaving your dirty shoes on the cream carpet or not helping her wash the dishes, just remember that she never gets a break from these responsibilities. Let her be a bitch when it comes to these situations, she deserves it.
6. Boredom
Put two or more women together without any men around and you will witness each and every one of us go into automatic bitch-mode like the flip of a switch. Sometimes we don't even realising we are doing it, and the gossip and bitchyness just spews out of our mouths like word vomit (mean girls hellooo). Do you want to know what I blame it on? Boredom...pure boredom. Yes, sometimes another bitch might have upset you in a personal way, but it usually always boils down to simply wanting to spice up a conversation. I will never understand why gossiping about overweight celebrities and the pretty blonde chick your ex just started dating is so interesting to us, but it's like women need it as an outlet of emotions and frustrations. It feels good okay!
7. We just don't know x
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