Things we need to leave in 2014

As the new and exciting year of 2015 draws near, I can't help but reflect on the moments, trends and people that have become the highlights of  the last 365 days, 52 weeks, 12 months of 2014. We all love to use the new year as a way to start new hobbies, lose weight, tick items off bucket-lists or break bad habits.

As you turn over the a new leaf, why not throw the old leaf away? Ah if only it were that easy my friends... creating a list of what I wish could be left behind in 2014 could be as worthwhile as emptying a pool with a teacup. If I had any power over society, I would try my best to make sure all of the following no longer existed in 2015. I personally think you would all be very grateful with the changes I would make. Here goes!

iPad's

Okay can someone please tell me what the purpose of an iPad is? I would love to know, because I consider them to be such a ludicrous waste that I would rather watch my money slowly burn over a candle, or give it to our president for his new home. You can't put cd's, dvd's or flash disks into them, you can't print anything or type out documents or literally do ANYTHING THAT A LAPTOP CAN DO. IPads actually make me angry-there I said it! Don't come with your Bluetooth/candy crush/stupid talking cat story, please can iPad's just go away.

Miley Who?

Poor drugged-up, overtly sexual, attention seeking, child-star-gone-wrong Miley Cyrus. I used to be a huge Hannah Montana fan, and I actually still liked her when she had grown up a bit too. 2013 Miley shocked us all with her antics, and the world took notice. 2014 Miley has gone to the point of no return with her eccentric weed inspired Instagram photos and her outrageous stage antics which made the Red Light District look like a flea market.

So I think that in 2015 she either needs to check into rehab or find herself at a Buddhist retreat. It's the same old story of being famous at a young age and then no longer being relevant unless you get a DUI or take your clothes off. Its sad really, I kind of feel sorry for her.

Smoking

Gone are the carefree days of the pre-90's smoking lifestyle, where it was cool and people could do it everywhere, at any time (even in cinemas and office's...gross). Finally we all know what cigarettes actually do to our internal organs, not to mention every other disgusting side effect such as halitosis, emphysema and... yes you guessed it-CANCER.

This is not an episode of Mad Men people, this is the real world where smokers are now shunned from society like a rebellious Amish girl. Put the cigarette down and leave it in 2014 I beg you! You are running out of legal places to smoke anyway, your options are limited.

Singing Shows

I don't know about you but I only watch singing competitions in the beginning when the people can't sing at all, cause I find it hilarious that they actually think they can. Other than that, as soon as the first round is over best believe I'm going to stop watching. Shows like 'Idols' and 'The Voice' have been expended over the years, and most people have lost all interest. Who even votes anymore other than housebound creeps on night shift?

How many times must I listen to a tone-deaf amateur sing a Whitney Houston cover? Since when has anyone actually become famous from a singing competition other than Kelly Clarkson? I think the music industry does just fine on its own, we don't need a bunch of cliche judges (there is only one Simon Cowell), and cover songs that have now been ruined for eternity. 2014 please swallow singing competitions up like a black hole.

Pharell's hat

Seriously Pharell Williams, wtf is up with that stupid big brown hat? You look like you are a member of the Canadian Mounted Police. It is way too big for your head and it is never going to be cool or become a fashion statement. Stop trying to make that hat happen-it's never going to happen! Leave the hat in 2014... preferably on the floor where it can be kicked and trampled on, we all know it couldn't look any worse.

Tim Noakes Diet

If I could punch Tim Noakes in the face I think I would accept the opportunity with great enthusiasm, not because I disagree with his diet but because I am sick to death of hearing about it everywhere I go. No food conversation is complete without 'banting' being mentioned, and everyone seems to be completely obsessed with trying to follow the diet just so that they can jump on the bandwagon. 

I respect the fact that you are trying to lose weight, but I do not want to hear about you consuming whole sticks of butter but zero carbs. Keep it to yourself! PS: cutting all carbs out of your diet could genuinely make you a scary person to be around.

The Oscar Trial

Yes, he was a famous South African 'blade-runner' and yes, he shot his beautiful girlfriend. I do not care how many years you think he should have got in prison, I do not care whether you think he was guilty or not, and I DO NOT care about your statuses and tweets full of legal jargon BS when you are a first year law student. Leave the Oscar trial in 2014, no one cares anymore. Oscar Pistorius is about as relevant as Bruce Jenner's ponytail. I am exhausted even typing the word Oscar one more time... please just stop.

Selfies

I am all about a selfie when there is something really awesome behind you or with you like The Eiffel Tower or even Ryan Gosling himself. Other than spectacular moments like that that need to be captured, I literally cannot understand why you would take a photo of yourself in your bedroom/bathroom etc and post it on all social media platforms for people to hopefully like and gush over?

I know that this whole narcissistic selfie epidemic is largely Instagram's fault, and opinions on this are hugely polarized. Duckfaces, peace signs, fake confusion frowns, visible arm reach... its embarrassing to say the least. I simply wish people would leave lame, pointless selfies in 2014 unless they actually have meaning or substance to them.

Peace AND pout AND bad make-up... Jackpot

Surprised? Confused? Constipated?

Ebola Jokes

Ebola is a very serious hemorrhagic disease where the odds of survival are second to none. It has hugely effected parts of West Africa, and has caused much controversy around the world this year with the level of international concern. I won't go further into detail, if you do not understand what Ebola is then please feel free to look it up before you make some stupid comment or joke about the disease. I am all about having a laugh about serious topics but the Ebola variety is getting old fast.

What infuriates me even more is misinformed individuals who make ridiculous assumptions about the disease, from thinking that the entire African continent is plagued with it to asking whether Ebola is food poisoning (that would be E.coli, bless your little heart). Leave your ignorance and your idiotic comments in 2014. Thank you.

Image from elitedaily.com