Small town syndrome

When most people think of South Africa they think of the warm beaches in Durban, the busy urban life in Johannesburg and the rolling winelands of Cape Town. They are all a beautiful representation of our country, and full of rich culture in their own unique way.
I have lived in two out of three of these cities, and I have gained so much life experience from the diversity of big city life. Somehow, after all these years, I have ended up back in the place where my parents live, and where I grew up most of my life-Pietermaritzburg.

Pietermaritzburg has many affetionately known nicknames such as 'sleepy hollow', 'the hole' and 'the burra'. This is because it's a small town compared to the city giants mentioned above, with a close community of families and a different way of doing things. My parents moved from Johannesburg to Pietermaritzburg when my brother and I were younger, because they wanted a more humble upbringing for us, where kids can just be kids. It has taken me many years to really consider the decision my parents made, because Pietermaritzburg has played a big part in who I am today.

There is, however, a type of prognosis that overcomes you after many years of living in a place like Pietermaritzburg, and it's called 'small-town syndrome'. This is something that only people from a small town will understand and appreciate, because it has a bittersweet effect on our daily lives. These are the symptoms:

Everyone knows everyone
People from a small town know everyone that lives there. If a group of randomly selected people from all over the town were put together in an empty room they would all soon realise that the one person knows another persons great aunt, another is the pharmacist from around the corner and another knows a friend of a friend. For this reason you are never really alone in PMB (the shortened version of the big name for our small town), because you will always know at least one person wherever you go. Consider food shopping and running errands a social gathering, because one way or another you will be having a conversation with someone you know, whether you have known them for years or met them the day before.

Gossip central
This relates in so many ways to the above symptom, because when everyone knows everyone nothing is a secret. If you tell one person something and ask them not to tell a soul, about a thousand souls will know the very next day. Whether its a divorce, financial problems, an affair or a drinking problem you have, don't expect it to be hidden from the rest... they will know. My mom goes to book club once a month with a group of her friends, and we all know books are the last thing on their minds. Lets just say a lot of wine is consumed and a lot of gossip is shared. If Facebook was a place it would be PMB, because we like to share and comment on everything, no inbox option.

People are friendly
Because we come from a small town, we have learnt over the years that everyone is important in some way, and the sense of community in PMB is like no other. We embrace new people, and make everyone feel welcome and comfortable wherever we are. The first time I really noticed this was when I was living in Durban, and brought a couple of my new friends to a get-together in PMB for the night. We went to a digs in PMB, where a large group of my friends were meeting up. As soon as I arrived with them, they were introduced to everyone, given a place to sit and a drink, and instantly included in the jokes and banter. My Durban friends said to me the next day that they had never met such friendly people in their lives, who didn't care where they were from or what they did, they were just glad to have made some new friends.

There is one of everything
Generally speaking, there is one mall, one club and one freeway. The monthly migration to the mall the week of payday is something to behold in a place where there is only one shopping centre to buy pretty much everything you need. It is convenient yet frustrating. Think 'Hunger Games' when the only mall in the town holds the only cinema in town, and you want to watch a movie on half price Tuesday. Our idea of traffic is that hour between 4pm and 5pm when everyone goes home from work, and our constant complaints about this pitiful excuse for traffic is enough to make a big city resident laugh uncontrollably. When you go to the only club in town, you are either talking to someone you know or avoiding someone you know. We often think of this as the perfect excuse to get very drunk and do stupid things. The saying 'only in PMB' is a very well used phrase.

Family-orientated
In PMB it is known that above careers, money and social lives, family is most important. This is why its harder for people from close families and small towns to leave and start their own lives somewhere else. Small town syndrome has this way of making you want to leave but urging you to stay at the same time. It is the epitomy of a comfort zone, because everyone you know and love is in one place, and everything is familiar. I say this as someone who has the majority of my family within close proximity of my house. I also know of many young people, such as myself, who have moved to one of the big cities to study or work and have ended up moving back for that desire of settling down or just being with family again. We then complain constantly about living in the small town we chose to come back to- it's a complex situation.

In so many ways my small town experience has allowed me to appreciate the important things in this big world, and I have comfort in knowing that I will never be alone when I return (we always do). x