7 Things I hate about long flights

I doubt there is anyone in the world that enjoys being cramped up in an airplane on a long haul flight for 10 hours (or more). Since I have a super loooong flight from Johannesburg to Bangkok in less than 2 weeks, I thought I would share my deep loathing of such. Lets just leave the 'I should feel fortunate to be able to fly to another country, and I am very lucky' argument. I am aware of this but it sucks okay! It has to be done.

1. Extreme A/C

Guys seriously, what is up with the antarctic air-conditioning on long flights? Like is there a specific reason why it has to be so cold and dry? There I am with jeans and a scarf on, and my scaly lizard skin, only to melt as I step off the plane in the sweltering heat on the other side!

2. Leg room

There is none, period. I am a short person, so I can't even imagine how anyone taller than 5'3 even fits into an economy seat in the first place. Anyone familiar with the term deep vein thrombosis? Yeah its a real thing, and it happens to take place on a long flight due to lack of leg movement for an extended period of time. I am not sure why I am so terrified of getting this medical condition but it is NOT pretty!

3. Sleep? Haha

You can have a neck pillow, an eye mask, ear plugs and a blankie (used by hundreds before you-see below), as well as a strong dosage of sleeping pill that could knock a rhino out, but let me tell you with sadness in my heart that you will not sleep. I can't help but sit there and curse the rich people in first class, lying vertically after a warm shower, as I death stare the man snoring loudly beside me. I have this fantasy that one day I'll be bumped up to business class due to over-bookings. A girl can dream!

4. Reused items

If you think that the blankie and the earphones and all the other extras that you receive all nicely wrapped in their packaging are brand new (and for your use only) then I am afraid I am about to drop a bomb. These items have been used and reused countless times by many others before you, and others before them. Don't let it gross you out too much when you are swaddling yourself in a second-hand blanket whilst the aircon blasts (we discussed this remember).

5. Miniature everything

When you get offered a drink and feel the pure excitement as your parched mouth awaits a big cold Coke, only to be given two sips in a cup. A glass of wine you say? With the amount you get, you're better off going Lil Wayne style and drinking the cough syrup in your medical case to get the desired effect. A tiny packet of peanuts that will leave you wanting to lick the salt off the packet, a teensy weeny bottle of water...and what is up with those single serving biscuits? Who in this world eats just ONE biscuit I ask you!!?

6. Oh turbulence!

Being told to remain calm when there is bad turbulence is like asking a female to walk past a shop having a 50% sale-it just doesn't work! The air hostesses and pilot also try to give us this false sense of security with their fake smiles and calm voices, which only makes me feel like they can't be trusted. Being the eternal optimist that I am, I still can't help but think that I might end up on the 6 o'clock news. We are, after all, flying thousands of feet through the air in a man-made death trap machine of steel. Am I looking into this too much?

7. Inconvenience

Thats pretty much all a long flight boils down to really: something you have to do to get from A to B. Everything is an inconvenience, from getting up to go to the bathroom, being hungry at inappropriate times when food isn't available, cramps in your leg, trying to block out that one kid that doesn't stop crying... I could continue but I'm pretty sure you get where this is going. It's a good thing I have my boyfriend with me to keep me sane somehow. x